Let Me Hear Your Voice
Jan. 29th, 2011 04:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melodyprower11Title: Let Me Hear Your Voice
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG
Summary: The accident that left Donghae deaf when he was just a small child changed everything, and stole his dream before he knew what it was. The music he can no longer hear taunts him daily, until he meets a man that changes everything.
Donghae hummed to himself as he flipped through the months bills. They were doing good, especially if that job came through. God he hoped it came through.
Because finally, for once, he wouldn’t feel like burden. He’d be able to help, instead of having people help him.
Donghae had been deaf since he was 5. He’d slipped down the stairs at their house, playing tag inside with his brother, just like their mother had always forbidden them. She’d scold them, warn them how dangerous it was, and He and Donghwa would laugh. Share secret smiles, for what could happen to them?
It’d taken a broken arm, a cracked skull, a short coma, and brain damage, for them to discover that they weren’t invincible. Donghwa was never be the same after that, failure and guilt peaking out when he thought Donghae wasn’t looking, whispered conversations that he was no longer able to hear passing among his family, accompanied by the sad eyes that he grew know and hate.
Donghae was not helpless, no matter what anyone thought, He learned sign language, learned to read lips, and finished school at the top of his class. He went on to college, and studied literature, writing, and gave up on his professed childhood dream of maybe playing sports. He gave up even the one hidden in his heart of becoming a singer, barely recognized and only fluttering at the edge of his thoughts when he heard his father talk, or watched a performance on tv.
Donghae remembers thinking, dimly as he watched the bright lights and cheering fans, people dancing across the screen, that one day that could be him.
But he gave away it all for something that he hoped would be able to support him, allow him for once to be independent.
The words he dealt with were no longer spoken, an art of cutting and pasting, being able to actually express himself just the way he wanted, freedom from his cage of sign language and half mumbled words he barely remembered the sound of, so long ago.
It no longer mattered , that he couldn’t hear the people calling to him a sports match, couldn’t hear the coach, was oblivious to the calls of the referee.
But, His heart still aches when he remembers soft strains of music, rising and falling in the silence that enshrouds his world, notes slowly disappearing, the song twisting out of tune as time passes.
He remembers the words to the songs, sharp edged and black against mocking white, but not the tune, and even his freedom has betrayed him then.
But Donghae was nothing if not persistent, and in college he tried everything to keep his grasp on the music that was barely clinging to his finger tips. He tried everything, until once day he stumbled into the dance studio.
Inside had been a man, tall, taller than him, and lean. Donghae’s breath was held prisoner by the awe that arose as he watched the man twist and turn, to a tune he couldn’t hear, but also a beat he felt resonate through him, forming a counterpoint the racing of his heart.
This, was beautiful.
And maybe, he barely dared to hope after so many failures, something he could do too.
Donghae stayed and watched until the man collapsed to the ground, wiping sweat away with the back of a slender hand.
Donghae quickly slipped back down the hallway before the man could catch sight of him.
But he couldn’t hear how loud his footsteps echoed, and unbeknownst to him, the Man curiously watch his retreating back as it disappeared around a corner.
After that moment, it became routine for Donghae to watch the man as he practiced in the evenings, and routine for the man to watch Donghae in return as he left.
The routine was broken after a week and half.
Donghae watched the man dance, performing moves that Donghae had secretly tried in front of the mirror at his apartment, small and timid, gaining confidence after a few tries. Donghae wants to be able to do what the man does, be able to follow the beat, because even if he can’t hear it, the music is so loud he can literally feel the beat in his chest.
He wants it so bad, this one last shot, a final connection, that he takes a step into the room without realizing it.
The man freezes and turns to him. Surprise flickers across his face, before a warm smile breaks it. The man opens his mouths and says something, and even through his panic, Donghae focuses on his mouth, watching the shapes of his lips.
But something is wrong, and the shape of the words not right, and just enough that Donghae can’t tell what he says.
The man looks at him expectantly, the harsh lighting of the room making his dark eyes stand out against his face, and Donghae worries at his lip. Finally he gathers up his courage, and slowly, laboriously to avoid mistakes, speaks.
I’m Deaf.
The man blinks before his hands flit into sign language.
I’m Han Geng. Who are you?
In his shock, Donghae is a bit more blunt than he might have been.
Donghae. Can you teach me to dance?
Han Geng’s eyebrow shoot up, but he grins, and his hands ask a question. Is that why you’ve been watching me lately?
Donghae flushes, but nods.
Han Geng smiles and gently grabs Donghae by the wrist to lead him into the center of the room.
Have you taken dance lessons before?
No.
Alright, we’ll start from the beginning then.
And they do, and Donghae’s body aches, he never felt so tired, bruises and blisters appearing as he tumbles to the ground after losing his balance, but its worth it.
With the joy he feels when the steps hit the rhythm perfectly, when the snap of an arm meets the vibrations of the bass, and it would be better if he could hear to music, but this is closer than he’s ever been (He dimly remembers laughing and singing with his father dancing around the room, but that is no longer, and this is now).
He hears the music in his head just a little bit louder now, missing notes reappearing and the song retuning itself. the words have a tune again, and he wonders what Han Geng’s voice would sound like if he sang them.
Han Geng becomes an important part of his life, his confidant, his instructor, his best friend. And over time it becomes more, and they move in together after college, a shared apartment, just the two of them and the cat Heechul insisted they had to have.
Life seems perfect after Donghae finally confesses, tells Han Geng those three words he’s spent hours practicing, because it was something that needed to be said out loud, even if Donghae can’t hear it, Han Geng can, and the look of shocked joy as the pan falls back down to the stove and Han Geng whips around is worth all the effort, and more.
I Love You.
Han Geng’s mouths hangs open but falteringly forms words.
Even after all these years Donghae still can’t read his lips, but He’s almost positive that it had been agreement, because suddenly lips are on his and they cling to each other, until the dinner starts smoking and the sprinklers set off.
They have burnt rice for dinner, their clothes sopping wet and puddles on the floor, but Donghae thinks it’s the best dinner he ever had.
They hold hands under the table the entire time.
Life went on happily, although the world of a writer is a fickle one, and Donghae never seems to get anything published, and so he tries for a regular job, determined to do his share of the work.
But for all that people claim to not discriminate against the disabled, for all the laws against it, it still happens, and job after job falls through.
A hand on his shoulder breaks him from his thoughts.
Hello hyung. His hands say.
Geng smiles and wraps him in a hug. After moment Han Geng fishes something out from his bag. Dark eyes bore into Donghae wide ones after he reads the name on the envelope.
Han Geng steadies Donghae’s shaking hands, and together they slit open the paper to unfold the letter inside. Donghae’s breathe catches and in his excitement he find himself repeating the same signs over and over again.
I got it. I got it. IgotitIgotitIgotit
Han Geng beams at him, and his hands are gentle, even as Donghae sees his shoulders shake with laughter.
I told you you would.
Its takes a while, but eventually the exhilaration fades, and they both collapse into bed, exhausted.
Donghae wakes up to the rustle of sheets.
He rolls over and cuddles into Geng’s chest and causing the man to snuffle, and open his eyes sleepily.
“Donghae?”
Donghae stiffens and shoots straight up in bed. The bed creaks as he gets off, and he feet thud against eh floor. He fumbles fro the radio and it crackles to life before tuning into an station of classic trot music.
“Donghae?”
Donghae’s legs falter under him and he falls to the floor with a thump. Music slowly wafts through the room as Han Geng quickly makes his way to Donghae’s side.
Tears roll down Donghae’s face as he turns to Geng. Alarmed the man opens his mouth to say something but quickly shuts it and signs instead.
What’s wrong?
Donghae slowly wraps his mouth around the words he wants to say, and savor the way they hit his ears as he gives them voice, however mangled they sound.
“I.. can hear.”
And Donghae breaks into sobs of emotions he can’t identify, joy and happiness, but pain, and bitterness and why now? Why so late? And Han Geng clutches him to his chest, and slowly Donghae calms himself to the sound of Han Geng’s heart.
---------------------------------------------
“I went to the doctors not long after, and it turns out that my brain had found new ways to get the sound from my ears to where it was supposed to go, but it had taken years for them to form all the way.”
Donghae stands with a microphone in his hand talking with the MC, having given a much shortened version of his life’s story.
After a few minutes, the MC calls him to the stage, and he walk up with his partner. Once they are he reaches over and grabs the others hand, and hears the fan girls scream.
Han Geng raises an eyebrow and flashes a quick sign at him.
Ready?
Always.
Then the lights dim and the music start and Han Geng and Donghae throw themselves into the music. After a opening dance sequence, Han Geng falls to the back and Donghae takes center stage.
As the spotlights fall to him, he grins.
When he was little he’d watch performers on TV and swear he’d be like them someday. He’d given it up all those years ago, but now it was him. That dancer was him. That guy everyone screamed for was him.
That singer was him.
Donghae raises his voice and follows perfectly along with the music.
Just a quick fic that struck me tonight so i figured I go ahead and post it up as work on my other hanhae fic and the next chapter of moon struck. that fic isn't dead i promise. but yeah this hit me and i wrote it and its okay i suppose. kinda odd really, bu i like it.
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG
Summary: The accident that left Donghae deaf when he was just a small child changed everything, and stole his dream before he knew what it was. The music he can no longer hear taunts him daily, until he meets a man that changes everything.
Donghae hummed to himself as he flipped through the months bills. They were doing good, especially if that job came through. God he hoped it came through.
Because finally, for once, he wouldn’t feel like burden. He’d be able to help, instead of having people help him.
Donghae had been deaf since he was 5. He’d slipped down the stairs at their house, playing tag inside with his brother, just like their mother had always forbidden them. She’d scold them, warn them how dangerous it was, and He and Donghwa would laugh. Share secret smiles, for what could happen to them?
It’d taken a broken arm, a cracked skull, a short coma, and brain damage, for them to discover that they weren’t invincible. Donghwa was never be the same after that, failure and guilt peaking out when he thought Donghae wasn’t looking, whispered conversations that he was no longer able to hear passing among his family, accompanied by the sad eyes that he grew know and hate.
Donghae was not helpless, no matter what anyone thought, He learned sign language, learned to read lips, and finished school at the top of his class. He went on to college, and studied literature, writing, and gave up on his professed childhood dream of maybe playing sports. He gave up even the one hidden in his heart of becoming a singer, barely recognized and only fluttering at the edge of his thoughts when he heard his father talk, or watched a performance on tv.
Donghae remembers thinking, dimly as he watched the bright lights and cheering fans, people dancing across the screen, that one day that could be him.
But he gave away it all for something that he hoped would be able to support him, allow him for once to be independent.
The words he dealt with were no longer spoken, an art of cutting and pasting, being able to actually express himself just the way he wanted, freedom from his cage of sign language and half mumbled words he barely remembered the sound of, so long ago.
It no longer mattered , that he couldn’t hear the people calling to him a sports match, couldn’t hear the coach, was oblivious to the calls of the referee.
But, His heart still aches when he remembers soft strains of music, rising and falling in the silence that enshrouds his world, notes slowly disappearing, the song twisting out of tune as time passes.
He remembers the words to the songs, sharp edged and black against mocking white, but not the tune, and even his freedom has betrayed him then.
But Donghae was nothing if not persistent, and in college he tried everything to keep his grasp on the music that was barely clinging to his finger tips. He tried everything, until once day he stumbled into the dance studio.
Inside had been a man, tall, taller than him, and lean. Donghae’s breath was held prisoner by the awe that arose as he watched the man twist and turn, to a tune he couldn’t hear, but also a beat he felt resonate through him, forming a counterpoint the racing of his heart.
This, was beautiful.
And maybe, he barely dared to hope after so many failures, something he could do too.
Donghae stayed and watched until the man collapsed to the ground, wiping sweat away with the back of a slender hand.
Donghae quickly slipped back down the hallway before the man could catch sight of him.
But he couldn’t hear how loud his footsteps echoed, and unbeknownst to him, the Man curiously watch his retreating back as it disappeared around a corner.
After that moment, it became routine for Donghae to watch the man as he practiced in the evenings, and routine for the man to watch Donghae in return as he left.
The routine was broken after a week and half.
Donghae watched the man dance, performing moves that Donghae had secretly tried in front of the mirror at his apartment, small and timid, gaining confidence after a few tries. Donghae wants to be able to do what the man does, be able to follow the beat, because even if he can’t hear it, the music is so loud he can literally feel the beat in his chest.
He wants it so bad, this one last shot, a final connection, that he takes a step into the room without realizing it.
The man freezes and turns to him. Surprise flickers across his face, before a warm smile breaks it. The man opens his mouths and says something, and even through his panic, Donghae focuses on his mouth, watching the shapes of his lips.
But something is wrong, and the shape of the words not right, and just enough that Donghae can’t tell what he says.
The man looks at him expectantly, the harsh lighting of the room making his dark eyes stand out against his face, and Donghae worries at his lip. Finally he gathers up his courage, and slowly, laboriously to avoid mistakes, speaks.
I’m Deaf.
The man blinks before his hands flit into sign language.
I’m Han Geng. Who are you?
In his shock, Donghae is a bit more blunt than he might have been.
Donghae. Can you teach me to dance?
Han Geng’s eyebrow shoot up, but he grins, and his hands ask a question. Is that why you’ve been watching me lately?
Donghae flushes, but nods.
Han Geng smiles and gently grabs Donghae by the wrist to lead him into the center of the room.
Have you taken dance lessons before?
No.
Alright, we’ll start from the beginning then.
And they do, and Donghae’s body aches, he never felt so tired, bruises and blisters appearing as he tumbles to the ground after losing his balance, but its worth it.
With the joy he feels when the steps hit the rhythm perfectly, when the snap of an arm meets the vibrations of the bass, and it would be better if he could hear to music, but this is closer than he’s ever been (He dimly remembers laughing and singing with his father dancing around the room, but that is no longer, and this is now).
He hears the music in his head just a little bit louder now, missing notes reappearing and the song retuning itself. the words have a tune again, and he wonders what Han Geng’s voice would sound like if he sang them.
Han Geng becomes an important part of his life, his confidant, his instructor, his best friend. And over time it becomes more, and they move in together after college, a shared apartment, just the two of them and the cat Heechul insisted they had to have.
Life seems perfect after Donghae finally confesses, tells Han Geng those three words he’s spent hours practicing, because it was something that needed to be said out loud, even if Donghae can’t hear it, Han Geng can, and the look of shocked joy as the pan falls back down to the stove and Han Geng whips around is worth all the effort, and more.
I Love You.
Han Geng’s mouths hangs open but falteringly forms words.
Even after all these years Donghae still can’t read his lips, but He’s almost positive that it had been agreement, because suddenly lips are on his and they cling to each other, until the dinner starts smoking and the sprinklers set off.
They have burnt rice for dinner, their clothes sopping wet and puddles on the floor, but Donghae thinks it’s the best dinner he ever had.
They hold hands under the table the entire time.
Life went on happily, although the world of a writer is a fickle one, and Donghae never seems to get anything published, and so he tries for a regular job, determined to do his share of the work.
But for all that people claim to not discriminate against the disabled, for all the laws against it, it still happens, and job after job falls through.
A hand on his shoulder breaks him from his thoughts.
Hello hyung. His hands say.
Geng smiles and wraps him in a hug. After moment Han Geng fishes something out from his bag. Dark eyes bore into Donghae wide ones after he reads the name on the envelope.
Han Geng steadies Donghae’s shaking hands, and together they slit open the paper to unfold the letter inside. Donghae’s breathe catches and in his excitement he find himself repeating the same signs over and over again.
I got it. I got it. IgotitIgotitIgotit
Han Geng beams at him, and his hands are gentle, even as Donghae sees his shoulders shake with laughter.
I told you you would.
Its takes a while, but eventually the exhilaration fades, and they both collapse into bed, exhausted.
Donghae wakes up to the rustle of sheets.
He rolls over and cuddles into Geng’s chest and causing the man to snuffle, and open his eyes sleepily.
“Donghae?”
Donghae stiffens and shoots straight up in bed. The bed creaks as he gets off, and he feet thud against eh floor. He fumbles fro the radio and it crackles to life before tuning into an station of classic trot music.
“Donghae?”
Donghae’s legs falter under him and he falls to the floor with a thump. Music slowly wafts through the room as Han Geng quickly makes his way to Donghae’s side.
Tears roll down Donghae’s face as he turns to Geng. Alarmed the man opens his mouth to say something but quickly shuts it and signs instead.
What’s wrong?
Donghae slowly wraps his mouth around the words he wants to say, and savor the way they hit his ears as he gives them voice, however mangled they sound.
“I.. can hear.”
And Donghae breaks into sobs of emotions he can’t identify, joy and happiness, but pain, and bitterness and why now? Why so late? And Han Geng clutches him to his chest, and slowly Donghae calms himself to the sound of Han Geng’s heart.
---------------------------------------------
“I went to the doctors not long after, and it turns out that my brain had found new ways to get the sound from my ears to where it was supposed to go, but it had taken years for them to form all the way.”
Donghae stands with a microphone in his hand talking with the MC, having given a much shortened version of his life’s story.
After a few minutes, the MC calls him to the stage, and he walk up with his partner. Once they are he reaches over and grabs the others hand, and hears the fan girls scream.
Han Geng raises an eyebrow and flashes a quick sign at him.
Ready?
Always.
Then the lights dim and the music start and Han Geng and Donghae throw themselves into the music. After a opening dance sequence, Han Geng falls to the back and Donghae takes center stage.
As the spotlights fall to him, he grins.
When he was little he’d watch performers on TV and swear he’d be like them someday. He’d given it up all those years ago, but now it was him. That dancer was him. That guy everyone screamed for was him.
That singer was him.
Donghae raises his voice and follows perfectly along with the music.
Just a quick fic that struck me tonight so i figured I go ahead and post it up as work on my other hanhae fic and the next chapter of moon struck. that fic isn't dead i promise. but yeah this hit me and i wrote it and its okay i suppose. kinda odd really, bu i like it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 10:02 am (UTC)WAIT WAIT WAIT, OMG OMG OMG, I'm waiting ur next chapter of Moon Struck!!! OMGGG~~~~ I love the fic so much~~~
Thank u for the fic thank uuu~~~
Hwaiting Hwaiting!! ILY :3
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 11:54 am (UTC)...
Okay the one i long for comes first XD.
i'm glad 'moon struck' is coming up, it has been such a long time and you stopped with a cliffhanger so please i don't mean to rush you but please update soon, or at least as soon as you can *puppy-dog eyes @ you*
Now onto "let me hear your voice".
I must say the idea is not original but the writing is absolutely gorgeous. It was like, if you are born to be a singer or whoever Hae is here then no matter what you will yearn to be one. Though maybe only when there's a miracle that destiny can come true so i love you for not making Hae suffer more and visualized his dream :)
About the other half of HanHae, it was amusing when Hae couldn't lipreading Han, because of his accent i guess. Don't know why but i found that soooooo cute, i mean who don't love that hot man with his accented korean anyway :D
Well overall i also love the little bits showed Hae's feelings, how he got so excited getting the job, or when he felt like a bother to his family. It was tiny but got a strong impact on me.
So thank you for sharing HanHae love with us,
Luv.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 01:42 pm (UTC)I loved this. Everything about it from the moment of realization on Hae's part that Hannie could sign to the moment that he could hear his voice. Well constructed and very personal.
Thank you, it was wonderful. =^^=
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 02:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 04:54 pm (UTC)I love this fic soo much. It's so cutee. <3
Donghaeee! <3
Hankyungggg! <3
YOUUU! <3 =D
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 05:35 pm (UTC)I reeeally like this fic >.< I just cant imagine how people could live without hearing ability.. donghae is so strong and determined ^^ and i like how he and hannie 's relationship.. like they're really meant to each other..
this is sweet ^^
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 11:35 pm (UTC)Awh this was really sweet. Hanhae <3
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 05:45 pm (UTC)Moving on...
This is a rather sweet story. Fluff-ish and gentle.
It's like a hidden theme that Hangeng is Donghae's cure not only to his physical illness but also to his life as well.
What a good way to end my day. A sweet HanHae story. And thank you for that...
(no subject)
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