Child At Heart
Mar. 24th, 2011 05:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melodyprower11Title: Child at Heart Chapter 5
Rating: PG-13 for language
Length: 1296 words
Pairing: HanHae
Summary: Han Geng thinks that Donghae would make a good little brother, and denies that his affections could lay in any other direction. Unfortunately for him, he may just find that you should be careful what you ask for, Some wishes have a nasty habit of coming true.
Donghae makes it out the door and all the way down to the lobby of the of the building where their dorms are located before the first tear breaks through. But not long after that comes another, and another, until he’s sobbing as he breaks into a run.
Stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, to get his hopes up like that.
He sniffles and lets his feet carry him along, not paying enough attention to do more than keep himself from tripping or running into to something.
Why though? Why was he wrong? Was he even wrong? Was it something about him? Was it Han Geng? Obviously Han Geng said he liked him. But only as a brother, and not how Donghae wanted.
Donghae slowed to a stop as he reached a small park not too far from the dorm, and doubles over to catch his breathe, angrily wiping tears from his eyes. The sound of running water in the distance catches his attention, and after a moment he walks across a small open area, and finally reaches a stream. Small, but big and fast enough to keep from freezing over this early in the winter. Ah, he knows where he is.
He scrambles through the trees at the edge of the clearing and over a few rocks, before reaching his secret spot. By this time, the sun is starting to set, and it’s getting hard to see, but the fading light scatters through breaks in the trees to dance across the surface of a small pool at the base of yet smaller waterfall, barely enough for the water to splash as it falls.
Donghae clears the snow off a boulder. His place. No one else knew this was here, or at least he had never told anyone of his secret hide out, discovered not long after they moved into the dorms.
In good times it served as a base of operations, for prank planning, for thinking, for writing music.
In bad times, times like this, he thinks bitterly, it becomes his only true place to go, because privacy is a precious commodity when you live, even if not in the same dorm, even if you have your own room, with 14 other guys.
Donghae sits cross-legged and stares blankly at the small stone in his hand, fingers absently turning it over and over.
Would he ever be able to have Han Geng hyung love him? Not like a brother, but for real love, love like you see in dramas, love like his parents, something he’d always wanted.
The kind of love that fifty years down the road, would still be strong? Could they have that?
Donghae admits to himself, that he could see himself, being there for Han Geng, even after super junior is over, living in korea, or even going to china with him. Finishing learning mandarin, maybe adopting a kid, the two of them together.
But could Han Geng feel the same? Was he even gay? Donghae had known since he was little that he didn’t care about gender. His first crush had been the boy down the down street, Kwangsun, who had played soccer with him after school.
But his first love, his first date, first kiss had been shy Eun Mi, all braided pigtails and big eyes. Eventually she and he had broken up, as much as one can at thirteen, and but later they laughed about it, and had gone on as friends.
But was Han Geng the same? Or was he doomed to being in love with a straight man. And even if he was bi or gay, would Han Geng like him? Or did he already like someone else?
He feels cold, well colder than he already was at the thought.
Would he be able to watch Han Geng with someone who wasn’t him?
He doesn’t know.
His phones rings, breaking the silence. He clutches his stone with one hand as he flips the phone open with the other. He glances down at the name.
Han Geng is calling….
Tears come to his eyes again, this time from anger. He press the end call button and holds it down.
Call ended…
And few seconds later, the screen fades to black as the phone powers down.
Damn it, why was he so STUPID. Putting so many years into someone who never showed any interest in him at all. Why?!
He clenches his hand, and in a fit of rage and self-loathing, flings the green-blue stone from him.
It bounces off a tree trunk and plops into to water at the base of the water fall, and immediately Donghae leaps to his feet, regret clawing at his stomach. No,no,nononononono.
He didn’t mean to!
The moon is out, but the sun has set, and under the trees its almost too dark to see anything, but Donghae splashes into the water, hissing at the cold, but refusing to stop as he sinks almost to his waist. He bends down and his hands flit across the bottom, pulling up every small stone he comes across.
Not it. No, not it. Not it either.
Where is it?
His frantic searching continues for several minutes, but eventually he stops when he can no longer feel his fingers well enough to pull anything up off the bottom. For a moment he stands there, silent tears trickling down his face, sodden clothes clinging to him.
Its absolutely silent except for the continuous sound of running water, before a snort breaks through, a laugh. Donghae brings a stiff hand up to his face to brush the hair out of his eyes.
What a mess.
Maybe he’s better off, if this is the kinda crap he gets himself into being in love. Soaking wet in the middle of winter, snow on the ground, all for getting upset over a rock.
He smiles, and its not bitter, but it isn’t a happy smile either, just a tiny rueful quirk of the lips, and drags himself self out of the water. He has a feeling he’s going to end up sick from this little stunt.
Brothers? If he’s honest, he’s not sure he can pull that off, but he can try if that’s what Han Geng wants. It would be easier if he couldn’t remember how much un-brotherly love he felt for the man, but he could try.
He’d be the best little-brother ever, if that’s all he could get. Maybe one day, Han Geng would see him differently, and He hopes, prays, that will be sooner rather than later, but for now, He’ll deal as best he can.
He would be the little-brother Han Geng hyung had always wanted, Because he’s heard him talk about growing up as an only child, and knows he’d wished for it often, a brother or sister, seen the way that Han Geng gets soft when he looks at small children. If he could be that small he’d do it in a heartbeat for Han Geng hyung.
Dimly Donghae realizes he’s just burying his feelings under this new ambition, that it could easily comeback to get him, but this is something he can DO, that he’s sure of, and after that last debacle of hope and feelings, he’s going to go with what he knows Han Geng feels, and shoves the thought down with everything else he doesn’t want to think about.
After all, He’d do anything to get Han Geng to love him, anyway he could get it. Pathetic, but true.
Soon enough Donghae finds himself out of the park, and on the way back to the dorm.
If he’d stayed around a few moments longer, he might have seen a spark of blue green light flare under the water of the pool he’d left behind.
Back to Donghae POV . Donghae reaction to the last few chapters, next up it'll be Geng for a while on out, so enjoy the donghae pov while you can hahaha~
Rating: PG-13 for language
Length: 1296 words
Pairing: HanHae
Summary: Han Geng thinks that Donghae would make a good little brother, and denies that his affections could lay in any other direction. Unfortunately for him, he may just find that you should be careful what you ask for, Some wishes have a nasty habit of coming true.
Donghae makes it out the door and all the way down to the lobby of the of the building where their dorms are located before the first tear breaks through. But not long after that comes another, and another, until he’s sobbing as he breaks into a run.
Stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, to get his hopes up like that.
He sniffles and lets his feet carry him along, not paying enough attention to do more than keep himself from tripping or running into to something.
Why though? Why was he wrong? Was he even wrong? Was it something about him? Was it Han Geng? Obviously Han Geng said he liked him. But only as a brother, and not how Donghae wanted.
Donghae slowed to a stop as he reached a small park not too far from the dorm, and doubles over to catch his breathe, angrily wiping tears from his eyes. The sound of running water in the distance catches his attention, and after a moment he walks across a small open area, and finally reaches a stream. Small, but big and fast enough to keep from freezing over this early in the winter. Ah, he knows where he is.
He scrambles through the trees at the edge of the clearing and over a few rocks, before reaching his secret spot. By this time, the sun is starting to set, and it’s getting hard to see, but the fading light scatters through breaks in the trees to dance across the surface of a small pool at the base of yet smaller waterfall, barely enough for the water to splash as it falls.
Donghae clears the snow off a boulder. His place. No one else knew this was here, or at least he had never told anyone of his secret hide out, discovered not long after they moved into the dorms.
In good times it served as a base of operations, for prank planning, for thinking, for writing music.
In bad times, times like this, he thinks bitterly, it becomes his only true place to go, because privacy is a precious commodity when you live, even if not in the same dorm, even if you have your own room, with 14 other guys.
Donghae sits cross-legged and stares blankly at the small stone in his hand, fingers absently turning it over and over.
Would he ever be able to have Han Geng hyung love him? Not like a brother, but for real love, love like you see in dramas, love like his parents, something he’d always wanted.
The kind of love that fifty years down the road, would still be strong? Could they have that?
Donghae admits to himself, that he could see himself, being there for Han Geng, even after super junior is over, living in korea, or even going to china with him. Finishing learning mandarin, maybe adopting a kid, the two of them together.
But could Han Geng feel the same? Was he even gay? Donghae had known since he was little that he didn’t care about gender. His first crush had been the boy down the down street, Kwangsun, who had played soccer with him after school.
But his first love, his first date, first kiss had been shy Eun Mi, all braided pigtails and big eyes. Eventually she and he had broken up, as much as one can at thirteen, and but later they laughed about it, and had gone on as friends.
But was Han Geng the same? Or was he doomed to being in love with a straight man. And even if he was bi or gay, would Han Geng like him? Or did he already like someone else?
He feels cold, well colder than he already was at the thought.
Would he be able to watch Han Geng with someone who wasn’t him?
He doesn’t know.
His phones rings, breaking the silence. He clutches his stone with one hand as he flips the phone open with the other. He glances down at the name.
Han Geng is calling….
Tears come to his eyes again, this time from anger. He press the end call button and holds it down.
Call ended…
And few seconds later, the screen fades to black as the phone powers down.
Damn it, why was he so STUPID. Putting so many years into someone who never showed any interest in him at all. Why?!
He clenches his hand, and in a fit of rage and self-loathing, flings the green-blue stone from him.
It bounces off a tree trunk and plops into to water at the base of the water fall, and immediately Donghae leaps to his feet, regret clawing at his stomach. No,no,nononononono.
He didn’t mean to!
The moon is out, but the sun has set, and under the trees its almost too dark to see anything, but Donghae splashes into the water, hissing at the cold, but refusing to stop as he sinks almost to his waist. He bends down and his hands flit across the bottom, pulling up every small stone he comes across.
Not it. No, not it. Not it either.
Where is it?
His frantic searching continues for several minutes, but eventually he stops when he can no longer feel his fingers well enough to pull anything up off the bottom. For a moment he stands there, silent tears trickling down his face, sodden clothes clinging to him.
Its absolutely silent except for the continuous sound of running water, before a snort breaks through, a laugh. Donghae brings a stiff hand up to his face to brush the hair out of his eyes.
What a mess.
Maybe he’s better off, if this is the kinda crap he gets himself into being in love. Soaking wet in the middle of winter, snow on the ground, all for getting upset over a rock.
He smiles, and its not bitter, but it isn’t a happy smile either, just a tiny rueful quirk of the lips, and drags himself self out of the water. He has a feeling he’s going to end up sick from this little stunt.
Brothers? If he’s honest, he’s not sure he can pull that off, but he can try if that’s what Han Geng wants. It would be easier if he couldn’t remember how much un-brotherly love he felt for the man, but he could try.
He’d be the best little-brother ever, if that’s all he could get. Maybe one day, Han Geng would see him differently, and He hopes, prays, that will be sooner rather than later, but for now, He’ll deal as best he can.
He would be the little-brother Han Geng hyung had always wanted, Because he’s heard him talk about growing up as an only child, and knows he’d wished for it often, a brother or sister, seen the way that Han Geng gets soft when he looks at small children. If he could be that small he’d do it in a heartbeat for Han Geng hyung.
Dimly Donghae realizes he’s just burying his feelings under this new ambition, that it could easily comeback to get him, but this is something he can DO, that he’s sure of, and after that last debacle of hope and feelings, he’s going to go with what he knows Han Geng feels, and shoves the thought down with everything else he doesn’t want to think about.
After all, He’d do anything to get Han Geng to love him, anyway he could get it. Pathetic, but true.
Soon enough Donghae finds himself out of the park, and on the way back to the dorm.
If he’d stayed around a few moments longer, he might have seen a spark of blue green light flare under the water of the pool he’d left behind.
Back to Donghae POV . Donghae reaction to the last few chapters, next up it'll be Geng for a while on out, so enjoy the donghae pov while you can hahaha~
